The Modern Storyteller

Promising nothing and delivering even less


So yeah, filler.

I’d recommend anyone listening to jump on registering for Planetside 2 and Heroes and Generals. Beta keys come out every now and then, but you have to reserve a spot.

I think I’m getting a bit more fluid with my writing. Still, as the comments section up ahead points out, something like split infinitives I have absolutely no grasp over. I seriously haven’t but the most basic understanding of ‘proper’ grammar. Good to know college will beat the ethereality out of my pastime. It probably doesn’t help that I conjugate words out of thin air, ‘ethereality’ for instance.

Ah, yes. I was reading a few DF stories. And other stuff too, which are slightly less relatable. Anyways, stories like this and this make me seriously pumped to play this sort of emergent-story game. There’s a few varieties, but my favorite will probably always be the single greatest Neptune’s Pride match in our plane existence. And, you know, here too.

Eh, may as well tell the story. I think I’ve told Robert already, but it’s still pretty awesome. This story was later used for the video game section in my school’s yearbook. It got shot down, on account of ‘gun.’ Edited, resubmitted. Shot down, for lack of pictures of students. Eventually, it was papered over by the principle in the final draft, replaced by a series of bullet points of why her school is so awesome (it wasn’t). My old principle isn’t a bitch, but neither then is she a distant relative of the bitch. She, conventional wisdom says, must be some sort of Bitchus Strictus.

Anyway: Manning the gun, I feel the boat drop a thousand feet from the carrier. I look to the side, and see the [japs] doing the same thing. I tell the driver, who is my besternet friend, to go for the far side of the island, we’re gonna stop their advance in a blaze of hail-mary badassery. I fire the gun in the direction of the pt boats. The gun’s not effective at range, but I might get lucky. A loud roaring, and muffled distant explosions. I look behind us, and see a zero, firing its cannons at us. I fire back, a hopeless fight. I scream at my buddy, “jump out! save yourself!”. My machine gun is powerful, a .50 caliber, but it’s nothing compared to the plane’s autocannons. “Come on dude, swim for it!” Careful, measured bursting; absolute absorption into my hopeless task. “Bailout you motherfucker!” Suddenly, we hit the beach, (we made it!). We can finally get off and… The plane stops firing and starts picking his nose up; this only means he’s going to drop a bomb on us. There’s no way either of us can escape, so I keep firing. And 20 yards I don’t even know I’m about to die, 15 yards there’s this gun and that plane and that’s all that matters, 15 feet, I can see the asshole flipping me off. Bang! Smoke and flames surround me. Death! Rebirth! A receding pit in my gut, and a frozen respawn screen. Light begins to shine, and I see the far end of the atoll. “Uhhh…” Life?! “Dude…” The boat? “Dude!?” I find myself standing on the machine gun still, covered in half-melted nuts, bolts, and assorted airplane parts. “FuuuuuCKKK YEAH! Eat that mistuh T! We’re the fucking S team!” Then everyone in the house woke up.

Oh god. Profanity, is simply awesome.

Oh, and I never thought I’d have a fetish. Not that I do, but, I mean, It’s… just so damn hot. This is something on a scale unparalleled. It’s… wow. Oh, and no, no one’s getting maimed or something stupid like that. That stuff makes me sick, on any scale. It’s also not porn, exactly. But, uh, turn down the volume when you watch it. Oh, and I don’t want any wise cracks about the sister aspect. Totally irrelevant.

Oh, one other thing. No one viewed the last update. I’m guessing it’s because the title was identical, but slapped with a ‘3’ on the end. Kinda makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

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