Darkest of Days

My first article for Citizen Game went through. It’s about one of my more… influential games (extra points to the school that guesses the influence!). Link is here: http://www.citizenga.me/darkest-of-days/

Oh, and if you are not yet entertained, I’ll mention one of ‘my’ awesomenesses.

Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute of your time if that’s cool
I’ll tell you how I became stuck at a stupid wizard school

In the lap of luxury born and raised
In the boardroom is where I spent most of my days
Backstabbing, betraying, laying off peons
I thought the good life would surely last for eons
When a sorcerous cow (she was up to no good)
Broke a deal I know she surely understood
I got one wussy tattoo and some old bearded tool
Said “You’re going to be held hostage in our lame wizard school”

I begged and pleaded with them day after day
But they took away my booze and forced me to stay
I had to play a moronic sport called Transmogritus
It was just about as fun as getting hepatitis

Cutting class (yo, this is bad)
Smoking cigarettes and making Celeste mad
Using one to burn some uppity snot’s face
Hmmmmm, I’ll put up with this place

But, wait: I see that prissy brat won’t go away
Is this the kind of place I want an extended stay?
I’m sick of the goat and seeing the kid always drool
I hope they’re prepared for me leaving their school

Well, uh, I somehow ended up in hillbilly heaven
There were two dudes who looked like they had a combined IQ of sixty-seven
And then I found out the Sorceress of the Gales was near
Goatsie sprang us, and like lightning we disappeared

I got put on trial back in the academy
With some vampire dude who looked very bad to me
Those idiots were eating right out of his hand
And he tried to frame me while I was on the stand

So I had them show the footage going back to eight
But he shouted (and they listened) “Ain’t true love great?”
His plan still worked and since I’m no fool
I’ve got to get away from this pathetic wizard school

(I wish I had written that, but no luck)


False Narrativism: Looney Tunes

///Recently, Warner Bros gave the go ahead for a new, -as yet unnamed- Eastern European (go figure) studio to produce a new ‘Looney Tunes’ game. This one, unlike the abysmal failure that is Acme Arsenal looks like it will be a great game, and will capitalize on the Looney Tunes brand in all the right ways. It will be hilarious, goofy, and an impressively complex game.

/// The game might be called a class-based third-person shooter, with varied game modes. However, ‘combat’ is quirky and fun, -barely resembling its nearest cousin, TF2- providing casual players with a ‘lol’ worthy environment. Hardcore players would find that, but also enjoy the complex, team-based gameplay. Even the non-gaming bunch is set to be pleased with the wide variety of creation tools that’s set to be marketed towards the machinima crowd.

///Please note: the game is extremely early in development (I’d link to the site; it doesn’t exist yet). Keep expectations low, and read on.

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